Racing Back to Life: One Woman’s Journey After Cancer
October 08, 2025
For Kathy Graef, an elite ironman and marathon runner, life was a series of finish lines she crossed with grit and determination. As a teacher, coach and world-class competitor, she was the picture of peak physical health.
Then, in 2004, she found a small lump on her leg.
“I was teaching, coaching, tutoring and competing at a world-class level,” she recalls. “I felt perfectly fine. Nothing was slowing me down.”
But her diagnosis was a devastating blow: an incurable non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. At 46, the woman who could conquer 140.6-mile races was told she might only have two years to live.
Finding the Right Care
“It really knocked my feet out from under me,” she says. In denial, she saw five different physicians, hoping there was a mistake. “I would have thought if I was that sick, I probably couldn't have done an Ironman.”
Unfortunately, the diagnosis was confirmed each time. But at her fourth consultation, her doctor gave her a piece of life-saving advice. She told her the best person to treat her would be Andre Goy, M.D., physician-in-chief and vice president of Oncology at Hackensack Meridian John Theurer Cancer Center.
“I was indebted to her for that,” she says. “Dr. Goy saved my life.”
In 2004, she met Dr. Goy at John Theurer Cancer Center. He immediately dismissed the two-year prognosis. “He got all bent out of shape and said, ‘Don’t worry about this. We’ve got this,’” she remembers.
The Battle Begins: Never Giving Up
What followed was a grueling seven-year battle. First, they tried chemotherapy, which is commonly used as a first-line of cancer treatment. But the results didn’t even provide three months of remission.
After that, Kathy and Dr. Goy embarked on a series of four or five clinical trials. Incredibly, throughout this period of intense treatment, she refused to let cancer define her. She continued teaching, coaching and even completed three more Ironman triathlons.
“I think that was my mindset,” she explains. “As long as I can control my health physically and empower my body to keep moving, I’ll be able to fight this.”
But by September 2011, the fight had taken its toll. Kathy’s bone marrow was severely compromised, and there were no clinical trials or chemotherapy options left. Dr. Goy shared that the only remaining path was a high-risk bone marrow transplant.
Her response was that of a true competitor. “I said, ‘Well, you know, it’s the bottom of the ninth and there’s two outs, and if that’s my only option, let’s do it.’”
A Life-Saving Transplant, an Unexpected Complication
A perfect 10-out-of-10 donor match was found in a young man from Germany. On February 1, 2012, she underwent the transplant under the care of Michele Donato, M.D., chief of the Stem Cell Transplantation and Cellular Therapy Program at John Theurer Cancer Center.
The race, however, was far from over. The transplant, while a success, triggered a severe case of Graft-versus-Host Disease (GVHD) that attacked her digestive system. “It basically felt like I had third-degree burns all through my digestive tract,” she says.
Her life came to a screeching halt. Forced to stop teaching, coaching and competing, she was hospitalized for weeks, fed by IV and saw her weight plummet to 80 pounds. She was bedridden, weak and fighting for every breath.
“I could see in Dr. Goy and Dr. Donato’s eyes that there was a great concern,” she says. “Somehow, I don’t know how I got through it. I really don’t, other than the fact that I’m a really, really stubborn, Irish girl, and, ‘I’m not going down.’”
It took nearly five years, until 2016, for her to overcome the GVHD and begin regaining her strength. The medical team that had become her family finally gave her the news she had fought over a decade to hear.
“They finally cut me loose and said, ‘You made it,’” she says.
Finding Freedom in Fitness Again
She started with the one thing she could reclaim: her fitness. It began with lifting cans of soup and walking up and down stairs. Slowly, the athlete re-emerged. Today, at nearly 68, she runs 8-10 miles a day, swims two miles and practices yoga.
While she has returned to triathlons, her perspective has fundamentally changed. Her new purpose isn’t about crossing a finish line, but about giving back. She now trains and handles therapy dogs, visiting hospitals, schools and nursing homes to bring joy to others.
“Although no one ever will sign up for cancer, it was my journey, and believe it or not, I really wouldn't give it up,” she reflects. “I have such a deep and profound value of what life is all about that I think few people can really appreciate. It was a team of people—doctors, nurses, professionals—and a patient who was really stubborn and had a very strong will to live. And that team came together and worked in unison.”
For the woman who has conquered the world’s most demanding races, the victory over cancer remains her greatest triumph. “People are like, ‘Wow, you did an Ironman.’ And I’m like, ‘I’m a warrior of cancer and a cancer survivor. How about that?’”
Next Steps & Resources:
- Meet our experts: Andre Goy, M.D. & Michele Donato, M.D.
- To make an appointment with a doctor near you, call 800-822-8905 or visit our website.
- John Theurer Cancer Center is the #1 Cancer Center in New Jersey and is ranked #37 nationally by U.S. News & World Report.
- The Adult Blood and Marrow Stem Cell Transplantation Program at John Theurer Cancer Center has one of the largest programs in the nation, having performed more than 8,000 transplants over the last 30-plus years. As one of only two FACT-accredited transplant programs in New Jersey, it has been an early leader in bone marrow transplant and cellular therapy research. Crucially, the center's advances in hematopoietic stem cell transplantation have made this lifesaving therapy an option for more people, including older patients and those with multiple medical issues.
The material provided through HealthU is intended to be used as general information only and should not replace the advice of your physician. Always consult your physician for individual care.
